Former Fuji TV announcer Watanabe Nagisa's first photo essay "Toumei ni Saitama" (Kodansha) was released on January 29th. Watanabe, who wrote a long essay of over 50,000 characters, reflected on the writing, saying, "For me, writing 50,000 characters wasn't that hard. It felt like I was able to write it quite easily." Watanabe, who announced in October last year that he was suffering from "PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)," also writes in detail about his battle with the illness that began about a year and a half ago, and Watanabe said, "I wanted to write about that without fear." We spoke to Watanabe.
◇Reason for writing: "I thought it would ultimately be beneficial to society."
Watanabe joined Fuji Television in 2020. He was in charge of "Mezamashi TV" and "Moshimo Tours", but after falling ill in June 2023, he stepped down from his programs to recuperate, and left the station at the end of August 2024.
This book is comprised of a full-length essay of over 50,000 characters written by Watanabe, who started a new career as a freelancer after leaving Fuji Television, as well as a photo section that gives a sense of breaking new ground.
Watanabe says he has always "loved writing."
Watanabe's book is filled with her hope that "writing about my experience will be one factor in correcting the prejudices and incorrect knowledge about PTSD and mental illnesses." However, she was aware that "even if I tried to change the prejudices and misconceptions that exist today by myself, I would not be able to do anything by myself."
"I thought that if even one person who reads this book thinks, 'this might be a good idea,' then it would ultimately be beneficial to society, so I entrusted it to someone else, or rather, I was betting on the possibility that someone other than me might come up with a great idea," he says.
◇ Don't hesitate to talk about your PTSD trauma or worries as a woman
This book is also a record of Watanabe's battle with illness, and contains a frank account of his days facing the disease, without hiding anything.
"I decided to write about it without fear. I decided not to hesitate to write about things I would rather not face, such as the trauma of PTSD and the worries of being a woman. And the more I wrote, the deeper my understanding of myself became. So there was no moment when I couldn't stop writing."
As mentioned above, his mind was clear when he was writing, and he "rarely got stuck," but there were times when he had to face himself and ask himself, "What kind of person am I?"
"I have a friend who went on to a doctoral program at graduate school. He's a good observer of people, and he once said that I'm "not dismissive." When I reread this essay, I realized that I wasn't dismissing anyone. There are stories about people who have dreams and people who don't, but I'm not dismissing the fact that people don't have dreams. I know this is because my friend told me, but I guess it was an awakening for me."
◇ Feelings of the person involved: "I hope this will be at least a small example of Nagisa Watanabe"
Needless to say, his strong wish was that the book would reach people who are battling similar illnesses, people who find life difficult, and even those who aren't seriously ill but find it difficult to live in society.
"The next target I wanted this book to reach was those who were providing support. How do those affected feel? What do they want? How do they want to be treated? I wanted to convey this, at least as an example of Watanabe Nagisa. My family also didn't know how to interact with them, so after the book was completed I had them read it, and it seemed like they were finally able to "check the answer." There are books about PTSD and mental illness written by doctors, but there are very few books written by people who experienced it. With so little information available, I think this book describes what kind of "help" those affected want, so I would be happy if those who support them would read it."
